Social Interaction and Expression

I just love this photo! Yes, it is two adorable twin boys.  But it is so much more than that.  It shows 2, two year old children, at play. Look closely and you will see so much more going on in this picture.

First notice the individual style each is sporting.  You have one in a short-sleeved shirt and no shoes.  His attention is drawn to something beyond his brother.  He has a carefree and confident attitude.  Life is good and he is going to enjoy it.

Now look at his brother.  This guy looks no nonsense.  He is dressed in a leather jack and black shorts and is wearing shoes on a warm summer day.  His focus is on the job at hand.He is busy instructing someone as he gets ready to mow the lawn.  He makes plans and follows through with his agendas.

Now consider the vocabulary being shared.  The rules of engagement being learned as they try to communicate their plans with one another.  You see in their world it is still all about them.  So this chance to play is allowing them to explore social cues and develop a sense that others exist and have a plan.  Surely there will be some frustration as they work to share the conversation.

But it is so important to let them resolve those conflicts.  Think of all the adults you know who still don't understand the  concept of turn taking in a conversation, who do not know how to listen to the person talking to them. Often it is because we forget to let children learn these rules of engagement on their own and don't allow them to handle the conflict resolution in simple settings on their own.  We also are poor role models in conversations these days as adults.

One of my biggest frustrations as a teacher is that adults always talk over my children, when the child was talking first. Another frustration for me is adults who interrupt my circle and story times, because what they have to say is important.  When what is really happening is the adult has not learned self regulation, nor do they realize they are teaching children that to communicate to someone else you must interrupt all others to be heard above everyone else speaking.  Their message is what I have to say is more important than what someone else is trying to communicate to me.

I believe this has gotten progressively worse as we become so in tune to our phones, i Pads and other devices that we forget humans need real contact.  We need a give and take in information and time to process that information before we respond.  If as adults we don't model this behavior, how will our children ever learn?  And what will our great grandchildren conversation skills look like?

Take time and observe how you communicate. Are you listening to the person speaking to you?  Are you making eye contact?  Are you really hearing what they are saying?  Are you speaking when it is your turn? (That is when the other person or person has stopped speaking.) Are you giving the individual you are speaking to time to process and answer what you said.  (Adults need at least 10 to 15 seconds to process thoroughly and children need 15 to 30 seconds to process before being able to respond.)

One of the reasons I love this photo is it shows two children being allowed to be themselves and develop important life skills.  It is so much more than a cute photo.  Thank you to thank Alexis Agnew Roberts and Monica McCallum Agnew for allowing me to use this photo.